Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Too Long

Tank - Newport News, thrifted
Star Pendant - gift from Beth
Trousers - Old Navy, thrifted
Platform boots - Trippen Happy Free

I usually don't like to use this space to be anything less than positive. But I am having a shit time right now. School seems like it's going to unpleasant, but manageable - but half the time I want to shout at everyone "I don't need your drama!" I'm happy to have today to rest and get re-organized for the unexpected changes. 

I'm fighting with my wardrobe. Most people would be thrilled to lose weight, but as someone who always has trouble keeping weight on and staying healthy, it's really upsetting. I started some new medications a few weeks ago and they've killed my stomach and appetite.

Around the same time I thrifted these gorgeous purple cotton trousers, which are now too big and too long even with my tallest shoes. I'll probably stick them in the bottom of my wardrobe in hopes they'll fit again sometime this year or put together a swap page if anyone is interested.


Yesterday, all I wanted was my purr-monster Gomez who passed away over the summer. He was my 20+ year old tuxedo kitty. He was a wicked smart tom. Hated everyone, but me. He slept with me every night through high school, but stayed behind with my grandparents when I moved and got married. 

He wasn't cute, his nose was scarred and ears tattered from killing rats and fighting dogs. His hips were arthritic and catty-wonk from being run over. He once stole a Krispy Kreme donut right out of my mom's hands and ate half of it before we got it away from him. 

But he purred like a lawn-mower and stuck by me (rather - on me) through a broken arm, two surgeries, every sickness, heart ache, moving from Georgia to Tennessee. His passing didn't hurt because I knew he had lived well beyond the years expectation. He was fiercely loved and spoiled up until his final days. And yesterday I missed him with all my heart because I wanted to curl up and have a good cry.

For those of you with fur-kids, please go give them hugs, pets, and kisses for me today. I'll be replaying kitten videos and watching the kitten stream that Ana linked to yesterday until I can see my kittens again, which right now is up in the air until life settles down.

21 comments:

  1. Aww, I understand what you mean. Other people, and even life itself, can sometimes be so exhausting! I am sure it will get better though, as will your health. :-)

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  2. I "lost" my kitty earlier this summer and I can't stop looking for him out my window every day, so I understand how much you miss them. (Weirdly, mine was a tuxedo kitty, too.) I'm sorry about your meds and health problems, I hope that everything gets better soon.

    I wanted to tell you that I love your outfit today. I love that top and I just adore that necklace. :-) Feel better soon. ;-)

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  3. Oh, I'm so sorry things are rough for you right now. We lost our own elderly tuxedo kitty last year -- we got her shortly after getting married -- and it was incredibly traumatic, because she'd ALWAYS been a part of our lives together, so much sympathy for you missing Gomez.

    Too big or not, the outfit is good. I love the gradual fade of the colours from bottom to top.

    And watch the post! I mailed your package last Thursday, so depending on the wonky postal service, it shouldn't be too long before it gets to you. Many thanks for the link, and aren't those kittens toothache-inducingly sweet? I think Einstein is my favourite, but they're all lovely.

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    1. I want to take the Tesla kitten home so badly! But they're all such cuties.

      Thanks again for sending me something!

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  4. Aw, I wish I could send you some Sasha Jane for a bit. That girl is a mess, and loves to sleep as close to a human head as possible. And jump on it in the wee hours when she wants wet food.

    I am so sorry about the weight loss. I'm having the exact same problem. Six pounds has disappeared in three weeks. Clothes are hanging in me, and taking photos of them just makes the problem more obvious. I am now making myself eat whether I'm hungry or not. So I'm ordering you to do the same :)

    I do love your purple pants and your star pendant. Go Beth!

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  5. Sorry to hear you're having a poopy day (does it help to call it that? I think it does!) I totally had one on Monday, for no real reason other than I've felt overwhelmed by having four jobs and yet no money all summer and it finally just all caught up to me now that it's over. I seriously probably cried for like 5 times that day. But, I felt totally better the next day. Sometimes I just need to breakdown and it's like a reset button and I feel better the next day. Cuff or hem the pants, cinch on a belt, and just think of them as wide-leg pants!

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  6. Ah, sorry you're in a rough place, Megan. And remembering Gomez is bittersweet, I am sure. I often call up memories of my Nola when things are a bit grim. I called her "Nurse Nola", b/c she'd jump on the bed with me at the first hint of my feeling sad/sick. She was a gorgeous calico who lived only till age 17, not long enough! The kitten cam is so addictive, isn't it? It's cutting into my productivity, but IDGAF : > Hope you are feeling much better soon.

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  7. Hugged my cat for you. Hope things get better soon.

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  8. Oh, Megan, I wish Gomez was there with you. I'm sorry to hear about the medications and their effect on your appetite. Can you expect your appetite to improve after a time on them?

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    1. I'm hoping so, the side effects are lessening with time, but it hasn't been long enough for me to tell. If it doesn't improve, I can opt to look into alternatives, but it's a matter of balancing side effects with the benefits of the medicine.

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  9. Oh, HUGS, hon, I'm so sorry you're having a shit day. Vizzini will volunteer to be a snuggle-bun on your lap for 2.5 hours. I miss Inigo terribly - he was such a snuggly cat.

    For weight, I recommend peanut butter on whatever you can stomach. High protein, high fat, will keep your weight even.

    For school, please just hang in there and live your own experience. You don't need the drama.

    Sending you good vibes!

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  10. Oh honey. I am sending you BIG HUGS. I am so sorry for your bummer of a time.

    School is hard work, no matter how you slice it, but just keep in mind that it will probably get better and you are working toward something important. I know it's hard, I remember the drama (ugh), but you're there for you.

    I know it's strange to be bumming about losing weight, but I totally understand. It's not always the cakewalk people think that it is. But, I still think these trousers are a great look for you--I love the color on you and the lose, casual vibe.

    As for your kitty, I am so sorry about your loss and your heartache. It is so hard to lose a pet, especially one you've invested so much time with. He certainly was a cutie! You are right, he undoubtedly had a long and pleasant life, it sounds like. At least you have lots of other kitties now to keep you cozy in the meantime!

    I'm sorry you've had such a rough time friend. If you need anything, shoot me an email. In the meantime, keep your head up, your eye on the prize and try to relax.

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  11. So sorry about your kitty! :-(

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  12. I AM SORRY ABOUT YOUR DAY. It is still early in the week so I hope the week gets better for you, and so does school. Loved hearing your kitty story. I love how much you love cats.

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  13. Dear Megan, sorry to hear this is a challenging time. I hope the rest and re-organizing and calling on the memories of Gomez-who-loved-you-best-of-all did you some good, and that today will be a better day. That awesome kitty was so lucky to have you too!

    Your honesty and all the self-caring actions you're taking easily keep this space positive. I love that you strapped on your tallest boots and wore the pants anyway. Your gifted star pendant is the perfect accompaniment.

    Big hugs to you, my friend.

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  14. Aw hon, I'm sorry you're having a tough time right now! Transition just totally sucks sometimes, I know I feel like burying my head in the sand during those kinds of times! Gomez sounds like a very special kitty and he reminds me of my girls, so I feel the love. I hope things turn around for you soon and that you get to see your other kitties in person very soon too!

    I do love what you did with the star pendant! It looks great on a longer chain.

    Hang in there girl. ((Hug))

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  15. Sending you a big {{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}
    Hang in there sweetie--

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  16. Kick ass pants!

    I hate when meds mess with you. It really is about weighing the benefits vs the side effects. Good luck. Let me know if you need anything from WA State.:0)

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  17. Hi there - {hug to you} -( that, believe it or not, was my first internet hug - and you got it!). Weightloss through being ill/controlling meds is horrible. I don't absorb fat well so have to avoid certain foods, but can also drop weight when I don't watch what I'm eating. Sheila is right - peanut butter on bread, crackers whatever is a great filler-upper and energy source. Take care of yourself.

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  18. Aaaw, Im soory to hear you having a crappy day, hope you feel better soonish! Huggis!!! Im struggling with my weight too, I need to put on some pounds but its impossible. I can stuff myself crazy but do I gain weight, nope. I really understand where you are coming from. I hope you get your medicine sorted out, you cant keep on loosing weight. I loose weight really easy too, just being sick and not eating and I have lost 5 kilos in an blink of an eye.

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  19. I'm just now catching up on my blog reading, since we're working a disaster relief Red Cross job in Florida. But I wanted to say I hope you're feeling better and that you got the good cry you needed. Sometimes just letting it out helps!

    Gomez was a handsome fellow, in that "rough around the edges" kind of way. Sounds like he had a really good life with you. Each kitty is so different; while another cat may enter your life, the good ones never leave your memories.

    Thinking of you and your furry buddies!

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